My 2011 dating year in review

Something old, something new, something tried and something true. 

Well folks, another year’s in the bag. Can’t really say that I was a big fan of 2011 but it sure brought many stories and learning experiences. Let’s take a quick walk down memory lane, shall we?

Something OLD

For those of you who have been following my blog for a while, I’m sure you have noticed that I have a ridiculous amount of guys in my life who for whatever reason just never go away. You can argue whatever you’d like about the reasoning, “he just broke up with his girl,” “he likes the attention,” “you respond to his texts,” etc., etc., trust me I have heard it all before.  The fact of the matter is that I have in some cases ignored these guys and in some cases indulged them, depending on the person and circumstance. I have given many of them beyond the benefit of the doubt (when they didn’t deserve it) and ample opportunity to redeem themselves, yet they always failed. Reflection moving forward: Some people DO deserve a second chance, but when they constantly underwhelm you, it’s really time to move on and not look back.

Something NEW

Online dating…I’ve been hearing all the hype for YEARS. I have a few friends who met online and ended up getting married. That’s great for them. I really pushed myself outside of my comfort zone this year and gave it a three month test. I met some interesting fellas but in the end they were guys I felt less compatible with than those I met in person and the experience just wasn’t for me. I’m not really a picture posting, profile writing type of person and it all felt very unauthentic, contrived and catalog-like to me. No disrespect to anyone using these services...if it works for you, then keep at it. And hey, you never know I may try it again someday but I do believe it’s just not for everyone and that everyone includes me (at the moment).  Reflection moving forward: The world is changing with many new dating channels out there and while they may not all be a good fit for you...it’s still worth giving them a chance.

Something TRIED

In 2011, more than any other year that I can recall, I tried going out with guys who I wasn’t gaga with from the get go. This may seem like a minor milestone but for someone like me who is guided by my gut, vibes, chemistry, and typically knows in 30 seconds if I am going to be interested in dating someone, it really took a lot of effort. What did I learn from these experiences? I met some really, really, nice guys and had some amazing dates but in the end I still wasn’t interested in any of them enough to keep it going. Reflection moving forward: Broaden your dating pool and give the nice guys who you might not be crazy about at first a chance…but don’t get your hopes up because in the end you’re probably just not going to be that into them. 

Something TRUE

I am a total romantic. I have a lot to offer and would love to meet that "don’t want to live without you type of person." But, regardless of whom I might go out with or how I met them, I stay true to myself. I’m not impressed by fancy dinners and gifts. Yes, they are nice but they are not going to persuade me to keep dating someone. If I’m not being treated properly or given the effort, consideration and respect that I deserve then I walk away. I try as best I can to be honest and open with guys so as to not lead them on, mistreat, or blow them off…I try to treat them how I’d like to be treated. I’ve been single waaayyy to long in this crazy city to settle now. Reflection moving forward: We all make mistakes but if we stay true to ourselves it will keep us moving forward to become an even better  person. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! 

Thank you for being a great sounding board this year. Your comments, likes, and stories have all helped me get through each day with compassion and laughs. Wishing you all lots of love in your life for 2012.

Riiidiculous online dating profile personalities--categorized!!

As many of you know, I took my very first plunge into online dating earlier this year. Late bloomer, yes I know. It was a brief but memorable 3 month experiment which resulted in a few dates (more to come on that later) and plenty of characters.

Like a good blogger, I created a little keepsake highlighting some of my favorite ridicoulsness seen in the headlines, descriptions and emails that landed on my screen.  They are all to be taken literally—word for word—because that is how they were encountered. Some make you laugh out loud, some make you cringe, but most just make you say REALLY???...and I have no doubt that fellow singlers have come across some of the very same exact ones in your online journeys.

I realize there are plenty of people out there who are a little more serious about online dating than those listed here...but pointing out those in this particular post wouldn't be nearly as much fun. Enjoy ;)

The Annoying

• Has adonis DNA
• Things that go vvrrrmm
• I'll be your Superhero today
• I'm a gentleman and a gentle man, and you're really going to like me. :-) So write me!

The Insecure

• Are you going to look at my profile or say hi ;-)
• I would date me
• FYI: I'm awesome.

The NOT-So-Cutesy

• If You Show Me Yours, I'll Show You Mine
• A knight in pre-owned armor
• Bring me home when you're mom's not
• I was wondering maybe could I make you my baby

The Ridiculous

• I can make you believe it's butter
• Geek by day, warrior by night
• My profile is like smelling your favorite dish with a blindfold on, you know it will look as delicious as it smells (note: he had no pic)

The Cheezball

• Baby, your're a Firework!
• Single as a Dollar Bill
• Your pot of gold is right here!!!
• Hello...Is it you I'm lookin for?
• Eurotrash at its best! (could be funny but based on his profile, he wasn't kidding)

The Desperate

• I'm vicious, delicious, nutritious
• Looking for Good-Looking
• Great real estate! It's a buyer's market! They call him their “favorite” design yet. They truly have set the bar high for other competitors to try and achieve the same. This unit does not have any leaks, creaks, cracks or holes (except one, hence the For Sale ad)

The Shady

• Don't ask why I don't have a pic up....I did, now I don't.....I'll send you one... :)
• Hello from Prison! (would be clever if they didn't look the part!)
• If I don't write back immediately, Don't Panic!! :) I get quite a few messages, so I will respond, just give me a chance. (get OVER yourself!)
• Im only on here for the free trial so if you're looking for trouble im your man lol ;P

The Shifty

• I live in the suburbs but wrote nyc for more search options
• Just moved to the city and looking to make some new friends!
• Basically I am looking for a girl that I am really attracted to that is fun as hell but still loves to be a girlie! I guess the kind of girl that looks like she would be a stuck up pain in the ass but is really great once you get to know her

The Dirrrrtttyyyy

• Diving in head first.  (OK maybe just my mind is dirty?)
• Wanderlust...
• Once you go brown you'll always be down...
• Am thirsty i need you
• When you are gonna feel me, then I'm yours.
• I'm a great catch!! I just been swimming in polluted waters lately ;P

The Idiot

• Conversation is a big must, there's nothing worse than trying to talk to a wall.
• Love life to dead!
• My best qualities are my extreme intelligence, perfect body and insanely good sense of humor

The Illiterate

• You can check my profile an now more is all there, and all i need is a reasonable companion that can make me fill like a man what can i say or write about that gonna put me at the top of the list
• Life's SHORT! I wnat to PLAY HARD!!
• I'm using all my strengths and my means for you, but please don't loose the destiny, and the real opportunity offered to us online
• You and I were born to be together, to share and enjoy everything of our lives together, to handle all the obstacles of life together, to look the life as children do or even that we were born two months ago, and not to see it as adults or middle adults instead.

And finally….

The Semi-Clever

• Unbelievable, even my gay friends are getting married before I am. I mean...good for them. Good for them.
• I’ve given up on meeting my soulmate when she's totally wasted at the bar
• If love was blind why is Lingerie so Popular?
• Please don't ask me for free Botox. (He’s was a Dr.)

THE END.


Keep up with SS on facebook and twitter!

ODB seeks SYF {Guest Post}

ODB (old dirty bastard) seeks SYF (single young female)

Guest Post By: Liz, WeLoveDates.com
Be sure to stop by their site after—you don't want to miss My Scarlet Letter guest post!

I have a love/hate relationship with bad dates.

I hate them because, well, they suck.
I love them because man, do they make great stories.

One bad date in particular stands out from all the rest. It was an online date, so the normal first date anxiety was hightened...due to the fact that I hadn't as so much even facebook stalked this person. I had no idea who I was to be spending my Friday night with.

So begins the getting ready process. I pluck, straighten, exfoliate, bronze, curl all while downing a glass (ok, a few) glasses of pinot and dancing to Jay-Z in my apartment. This was actually the best part of my evening-should have ordered a pizza and called it a night.

I hurried out the door and battled L.A traffic, hoping I wouldn't be late. It didn't really matter though, because my date ended up being 45 minutes late. I stood outside of the bar on Sunset constantly checking my phone, and reading his "I'm 2 mins" away texts. I called my best friend who said I should leave, but I felt bad and didn't want to be rude. Um, lesson to be learned here? If he's 45 minutes late, LEAVE. He's rude, not you.

Moving right along...finally, he texted that he was parking. I started looking around for someone who resembled the many pictures he'd posted online. 25ish, brown hair, 6'0, athletic build. Instead, a 65ish, salt and pepper, 5'5 tall man with definitely an un-athletic build walked up to me. I was shocked. I'd heard about people misrepresenting themselves online all the time, but never to this extent.

Too stunned to say anything, we sat down at the bar. He immediately told me that the images he'd posted online were of him...literally 20 years ago. I was silently kicking my own ass with my Louboutin because something had seemed a bit off from the images...ya know, like maybe they were from the late 70's?! He went on to say that he was "young at heart" and was having a difficult time meeting younger woman when he posted his real photos online. Go figure. And he didn't even bother to take off his wedding ring!

I regained my composure and calmly told him I was going to have to leave. He seemed genuinely sad, and my softy side almost offered to have dinner with him anyway. Luckily, I stopped thinking crazy and gathered my things. As I was shaking his hand good-bye (the creeper had the nerve to ask for a kiss! I die), he mentioned that his son was single, and offered to "hook us up." No thanks, especially if the old adage "like father like son" bears any truth whatsoever!

Oh, the joys of online dating!

This is a guest post from:

We Love Dates is an online dating website & dating advice blog for singles in the UK, Ireland, US, Canada, South Africa & Australia. Liz blogs (and vlogs!) about all things online dating, love, sex and relationships. Follow We Love Dates on Twitter, and get friendly with us on Facebook. 

Don't miss My Scarlet Letter guest post on their site!

MATCH.COM—WHO THE F*CK ARE THESE PEOPLE!?!?!

Those of you who have been following me on Facebook already know that for the first time EVER I recently plunged into the abyss of online dating. If you know me at all—then you know this decision was EPIC. My experience so far however, has been anything but.

I set up my profile on a whim late one night (no i wasn't drunk you smartass...ok well maybe there were a couple of glasses of wine on hand) pretty quickly for fear that if I took too long to think about what I was doing that I would chicken out and walk away. Over the course of the first week I had so many mixed emotions about the whole experience and probably changed my profile verbiage about 4 million times—what can I say, I’m new to this! I was terrified and excited all at once. On the one hand, I didn't like the idea of all sorts of men—all over the universe (including some I already knew/dated), peering over words and pictures pertaining to this 'ol single gal (especially from the distant comfort of their own bedroom, if you know what I mean)! On the other hand, I anticipated a flurry of new and amazing eligible bachelors to flood my inbox—and sure enough, like a Tsunami—THINGS happened.

I will never forget my initial reaction to the first few days of searching and being searched on Match.com—ready for it??? WHO THE F*CK ARE THESE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!! I remember this reaction so clearly because I still have it EVERY time I log on to this site. Now don’t get me wrong, I'm not a snob and despite what some of you may say, my expectations are NOT too high (trust me)!  I admit I am still new to the whole experience but my first impression is that I really don't know how "1 in 5 relationships start on Match.com" (or whatever the hell they claim). A month and a half in on this site with millions of singles, I've only been out with ONE guy so far and he turned out to be a case file (to be included in a later report). It's not that I'm not getting attention on there, quite the contrary actually. It's just that these guys are B-R-U-T-A-L. From what I have seen so far, these guys are WORSE than the guys I meet out there in the “real world” and you can bet that I NEVER imagined to be PAYING FOR THAT.

Anyways, there will be PLENTY more to come on this topic. In the meantime, here's a top 5 that will hopefully get your weekend laughter started a little early...

5 Ways NOT to grab my attention (or probably anyone else’s) on Match.com

5. Bait and switch.

In case you are unfamiliar with the term, here are a few scenarios. Your profile picture: 
-Is ridiculously blurry.
What exactly are you hiding from?? On to the next...
-Is taken SO far away that i can't even make out if you are a man.
Again, what are you hiding from? (My guess is a girlfriend)

-Is you wearing a hat.
So basically what you are saying is that you either still dress like you are 20yrs old or most likely, you are bald or have a receding hairline. (Personally, I don't mind bald but COME ON, we know this trick—just show us a genuine shot up front please)

-Is you with no shirt on or taking a picture of yourself in front of a mirror.
Wow, cheesy and creepy—NO thanks.

4. You can’t spell. 

Look, we all make these mistakes from time to time but spell check is out there and you still have a profile littered with misspellings--REALLY??? You’re either overly careless, not that bright, foreign (not that there's anything wrong with that)—or all 3 of the above.

3. You mention an ex in your description. 

For example, "I recently moved to NYC for my ex and it didn't work out so now I'm on here". SERIOUSLY??? Which part of that do you think WE want to hear in the first 15 seconds of reading your profile...I guarantee he would spend half of the date talking about his ex. Move on buddy.

2. Simple formula: I wink + you wink back = game over. 

Get some balls and make a REAL move!!

1. Cut and paste. 

Seeing is believing...here are just a few of the ridiculous emails I received on this wonderful dating site. Please note, I have not edited a word! All I will say is that I can't imagine how many women have received these exact emails!

Email from a 36yr old: (this one is my favorite)

"Listen, you have the most contagious smile I've ever seen! It's like being at the carnival or blowing bubbles when you were a kid- you can't help but break out into a huge grin!...Very Attractive!

You seem very down to earth, i like that.. Only way to be in my book, seriously...."

Part of an email from another 36yr old, this one lives in Florida (the entire email was just too long to share!):

"The woman in Florida are so rude that I have decided to look in the NYC area. Tell me more about yourself.I am not into mind games,drugs or drama. Please feel free to call me at anytime at (561)XXX-XXXX.If you are interested please leave me a voicemail with your contact number and I shall call ya back. Since you love to travel maybe there is a chance you can come down to Florida this summer."

From a 42yr old:

"How do you feel about cat's ?"

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's all  I can take for now folks but you can bet on more Match.com rants to come…