I was recently dishing with one of my guy friends about crazy things that guys/girls do when they feel like they had a connection with someone and have been rejected. He started laughing and casually browsed his iphone e-mail archives and handed it over to me for review. It was an e-mail from a chick he met a few years back that he had only hung out with a few times. As you will see, there’s really no backstory needed for this one...
WARNING: What you are about to read is an unedited e-mail this chick sent to my friend after clearly a few too many cocktails on HER BIRTHDAY!
Hey,
So it is my birthday, and this is the first time that I have e-mailed you in a very long time. But I have a few things to say: First, I think about you and really want you inside of me; that is, I want your penis inside of me and I want you to go down on me and I want to go down on you and I want to have sex with you, you make me wet when I think about you when I masturbate, which is more often than I would like; second, I am mad that you haven't e-mailed; you have really made me feel like a cheap prostitute, like someone you just wanted to fuck with, with no kind of follow up and I am not really that kind of girl. Why haven't you called or e-mailed? What is wrong with you? I don't want to be your girlfriend. I would be a terrible girlfriend, and I am sorry if I said shit like that to you a while you were at my house, you know, an ultimatum or something like that. I think that we could maybe be friends and have fun together. I kind of want you to take care of me, in an affectionate kind of way; not in a boyfriend kind of way. I apologize for the last time when I was kind of quiet. I have been dealing with a lot of shit lately.
Ok, I am going to go now because i NEED to get some water. Can we just talk. I would really like to talk,
p.s. I am coming in this weekend; do you want to meet for a drink or something? like maybe saturday night?
I think this one pretty much speaks for itself...I am sure we have ALL been tempted at one time or another to send or say these types of things but believe me—it’s not doing anything to help fight that old adage that “all girls are crazy”. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE Sassy readers—I beg you NOT to do this! I promise there are many, many, more productive and less embarrassing ways to handle a rejection or break up and I will cover that discussion soon!
In the meantime, next time you are feeling this way, write the email and send it to me or a friend instead...we promise you will feel better about it the next morning ;)
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