Ok, I give out my number at bars—guilty as charged! I did it again this weekend…but there’s always a reason or story, right? Sometimes I am indeed into the guy but many times it’s just easier to give up your digits than to deal with the awkwardness of rejecting someone on the spot. We used to be able to get away with giving out a wrong name or number—leaving us off the hook and leaving our suitor with a glimmer of hope that out of the 10 different numbers he got that night, ours just might be the one that will actually work.
Times are different now. Guys are more saavy and have wised up to our antics. You can’t just give out a fake number like you used to because there’s no more writing it down on a dirty, wet, bar napkin and hoping that it gets misplaced or the ink bleeds it illegible. Those days are gone. Now guys want to immediately add you into their phone and call you right then and there so you have their number too and most importantly so that they can see you if you are being legit! And if they are REALLY into you—or is it—if they are really aggressive, or really manic, or really into social connections—they will want to immediately synch you up on their chats, facebook and twitter, too. Whoo-hoo!
But wait….didn’t we just meet?!? You’re already browsing pictures of me online, reading my status updates, checking out my friends and connecting with me all day, every day?? What's up with that? Did you just want to make sure it wasn’t the beer goggles and that I’m as cute as you remembered before making a move? Are you trying to increase your number of facebook friends? Do you have ADD or need constant attention? Whatever the reason, make no mistake—this is NOT the way to go.
The reality is, if you give someone your number, it means that you are potentially into them. This means depending on your interactions, things could easily, and quickly, go either way—full on head over heels or get me the hell out of here fast! Unfortunately, there’s not much room in between when you connect full throttle too soon—so why rush it? As women, we will likely overanalyze everything (sorry, but it’s true) we see and read on this new guys fb page, bbm updates, etc. As a guy, this new immersion into everything about you will likely fulfill instant gratifications but will not offer enough of the mystery we know you so often crave in the early stages of dating.
We rarely use the phone to talk anymore and it’s difficult enough to get to know someone over texts—which already seems to be like sooooo yesterday. By adding more layers of connections—a crash course into both of your personal lives—from day one, things are bound to get complicated fast. Call me old fashioned (you wouldn’t be the first) but in the beginning—isn’t the fun part discovering things about each other together as they happen, as opposed to learning about each other solo in the confinement of your own home via your laptop or iphone? Connections are so important so make them real and make them count!
‘A hidden connection is stronger than an obvious one.’ --Heraclitus of Ephesus
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